Dave Strider (
shenunigans) wrote in
thecapitol2015-03-15 11:17 am
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Entry tags:
We are the wireless survivors of things gone. [open]
Who| Dave Strider and y'all
What| Dave comes back from the worst canon update ever.
Where| D9, the corridors of the tower, the roof
When| About a week after he died in the Arena, slightly backdated.
Warnings/Notes| Death, existential crisis
The general sound that fills Dave's head when he wakes up is best described as static. Loud, buzzing static that seems to overpower the sound of anything else. He's where he had been when he first came here, where he showed up after every miserable failure in the Arena, but something is different.
He went home.
Then he died.
He's dead. He needs to repeat it in his mind to solidify the concept. He's died over and over, but he went home. And he died. And he doesn't know if there's anything in the universe that can do a reach-around on an official and heroic death when you've abused your consequence free card for so long. The most profoundly difficult concept to comprehend is the fact that he died here, he died there and then he came back here like it was nothing. Like it was a sunny little trip back home to show him just how quickly everything went wrong. For so long he'd been banking on getting home, picking up his sword and facing the shit he'd been running from. He'd been guilty and worried and detached from a life that he'd been so heavily involved in, now it's gone and it's official. His relationship with the Capitol is committed, they just burned down his apartment so he had to move in permanently. Soon they'll be tying the knot and next thing you know he'll be stuck here without an out in sight.
In the back of his mind, he considers Bro. The fact that he's dead back home makes his life here all the more important, every Arena could be the last one and then there would be nothing. Just a black void with which to return to, a void that Dave now belongs to as well. He'd told Punchy that his universe had a way of keeping you around if you were, as he put it, integral to the thing they're doing. Maybe he isn't integral there anymore. There are other time travelers for sure.
He could be integral here, but he's not sure he wants to be.
A. District 9/Dave's Room.
When Dave musters the fucks it takes to pick himself up and drag himself out of the training center, the static in his mind has dulled some. It both does and doesn't feel like he's been away for a little while. His surroundings are familiar and distant all at once. He doesn't spare much time looking around, choosing instead to focus on bowing his head and hitting the increasingly familiar elevator button up to his floor.
He steps in cautiously, checking for familiar faces before crossing through the suite toward his room. If he doesn't get sidetracked, he'll be quick to drag himself into his room and shut the door. He spares his collective posters and possessions a quick glance before he starts to feel uncomfortable with it all and chooses to faceplant onto the bed. He shouldn't be tired by any means, but he already feels drained enough to bury his face into the pillows and lie inelegantly on the bed like a stretched out starfish.
Company would be great, something distracting would be awesome, but he doesn't want to seek it out.
B. The Corridors.
Eventually the siren song of basic necessities, company and a need to absorb his surroundings once again wins out and Dave picks himself up and leaves his room. He mills around the kitchens but he's slinking out into the corridors pretty fast. To anyone, he looks visibly disorientated and he's distracted enough that shoulder bumping is liable to happen. If he happens to make eye-contact, there's a high chance he'll step back, size you up and speak.
"You there, boy, what day is this?" If they don't say Christmas, he will be severely disappointed. He's all out of whack as far as time goes. It's hard to say how long exactly he's been gone between the long span of clockless Arenas and however long he spent home. He doesn't know how long an express trip to other universes takes the Capitol. It could be hours, it could be weeks. All he knows is that he hates being detached from his sense of time but he's almost anxious about checking a clock or a calender. He'd rather hear it from someone, let it sink in better if he's been gone five hundred years.
C. The Roof.
When in doubt, head for high places. Dave has always been partial to rooftop anything, and this roof in particular holds a few memories. Getting drunk with princesses, having real talk with Tony, making plans with Bro to break into a highly secure prison, reuniting with Karkat. You know. The usual.
It's a chilly day already, but Dave doesn't particularly regret coming up without a hoodie. Something about being cold from his eyebrows to his toe jam makes him feel a little more grounded. He draws his arms over himself and wills himself to step closer to the sides taking in the view of the city slowly starting to light up for the evening and letting it sober him up some. He's here, he's definitely here.
Eventually, he's stepping back to take a gander up at the sky. Upward to the ol' Space Jam that defined his existence for over three years and then back to the city that took it for about a year. It's deep. He's really glad nobody can hear his thoughts, because they sound an awful lot like Micheal Cera or Logan Lerman should be muttering them over the faint sounds of stirring hipster tunes.
Turns out, there is a time for melodramatic thoughts and typically cinematic displays of restlessness. That time is now, right now. Dave is scrubbing at his face and pulling away from the view, turning to take the nearest seat he can so he can invest his attention on his feet.
It's cold. He should have worn long sleeves.
What| Dave comes back from the worst canon update ever.
Where| D9, the corridors of the tower, the roof
When| About a week after he died in the Arena, slightly backdated.
Warnings/Notes| Death, existential crisis
The general sound that fills Dave's head when he wakes up is best described as static. Loud, buzzing static that seems to overpower the sound of anything else. He's where he had been when he first came here, where he showed up after every miserable failure in the Arena, but something is different.
He went home.
Then he died.
He's dead. He needs to repeat it in his mind to solidify the concept. He's died over and over, but he went home. And he died. And he doesn't know if there's anything in the universe that can do a reach-around on an official and heroic death when you've abused your consequence free card for so long. The most profoundly difficult concept to comprehend is the fact that he died here, he died there and then he came back here like it was nothing. Like it was a sunny little trip back home to show him just how quickly everything went wrong. For so long he'd been banking on getting home, picking up his sword and facing the shit he'd been running from. He'd been guilty and worried and detached from a life that he'd been so heavily involved in, now it's gone and it's official. His relationship with the Capitol is committed, they just burned down his apartment so he had to move in permanently. Soon they'll be tying the knot and next thing you know he'll be stuck here without an out in sight.
In the back of his mind, he considers Bro. The fact that he's dead back home makes his life here all the more important, every Arena could be the last one and then there would be nothing. Just a black void with which to return to, a void that Dave now belongs to as well. He'd told Punchy that his universe had a way of keeping you around if you were, as he put it, integral to the thing they're doing. Maybe he isn't integral there anymore. There are other time travelers for sure.
He could be integral here, but he's not sure he wants to be.
A. District 9/Dave's Room.
When Dave musters the fucks it takes to pick himself up and drag himself out of the training center, the static in his mind has dulled some. It both does and doesn't feel like he's been away for a little while. His surroundings are familiar and distant all at once. He doesn't spare much time looking around, choosing instead to focus on bowing his head and hitting the increasingly familiar elevator button up to his floor.
He steps in cautiously, checking for familiar faces before crossing through the suite toward his room. If he doesn't get sidetracked, he'll be quick to drag himself into his room and shut the door. He spares his collective posters and possessions a quick glance before he starts to feel uncomfortable with it all and chooses to faceplant onto the bed. He shouldn't be tired by any means, but he already feels drained enough to bury his face into the pillows and lie inelegantly on the bed like a stretched out starfish.
Company would be great, something distracting would be awesome, but he doesn't want to seek it out.
B. The Corridors.
Eventually the siren song of basic necessities, company and a need to absorb his surroundings once again wins out and Dave picks himself up and leaves his room. He mills around the kitchens but he's slinking out into the corridors pretty fast. To anyone, he looks visibly disorientated and he's distracted enough that shoulder bumping is liable to happen. If he happens to make eye-contact, there's a high chance he'll step back, size you up and speak.
"You there, boy, what day is this?" If they don't say Christmas, he will be severely disappointed. He's all out of whack as far as time goes. It's hard to say how long exactly he's been gone between the long span of clockless Arenas and however long he spent home. He doesn't know how long an express trip to other universes takes the Capitol. It could be hours, it could be weeks. All he knows is that he hates being detached from his sense of time but he's almost anxious about checking a clock or a calender. He'd rather hear it from someone, let it sink in better if he's been gone five hundred years.
C. The Roof.
When in doubt, head for high places. Dave has always been partial to rooftop anything, and this roof in particular holds a few memories. Getting drunk with princesses, having real talk with Tony, making plans with Bro to break into a highly secure prison, reuniting with Karkat. You know. The usual.
It's a chilly day already, but Dave doesn't particularly regret coming up without a hoodie. Something about being cold from his eyebrows to his toe jam makes him feel a little more grounded. He draws his arms over himself and wills himself to step closer to the sides taking in the view of the city slowly starting to light up for the evening and letting it sober him up some. He's here, he's definitely here.
Eventually, he's stepping back to take a gander up at the sky. Upward to the ol' Space Jam that defined his existence for over three years and then back to the city that took it for about a year. It's deep. He's really glad nobody can hear his thoughts, because they sound an awful lot like Micheal Cera or Logan Lerman should be muttering them over the faint sounds of stirring hipster tunes.
Turns out, there is a time for melodramatic thoughts and typically cinematic displays of restlessness. That time is now, right now. Dave is scrubbing at his face and pulling away from the view, turning to take the nearest seat he can so he can invest his attention on his feet.
It's cold. He should have worn long sleeves.
C
It is a white tiger with rose-colored stripes, on a leash, and she is letting it wander around and sniff at things, scratching at the ground and chuffing with happiness. One of the things it sniffs at is Dave's feet as he sits, and Swann smiles at him as she walks behind her pet.
"Hi, Dave," she says cheerily, and sits down in the chair next to him. "Welcome back! How are you?"
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He stares blankly at the furry face for a moment, as if staring at nothing in particular, then it hits him. That's a tiger. He reels away slowly, drawing his feet upward and pulling a face at the hulk-sized kitten as if anticipating some sort of belated attack.
Then Swann speaks up and his feet are flat to the ground and his face is back to neutral in an instant. "Hi." He says a little too quickly, searching his brain for a clever but not cruel answer to the question. "Dead." He blurts that out, since it's prevalent in his mind, then regrets it. "Is that a tiger?" Nice save.
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The tiger bats gently at the feet that suddenly reappear in front of him, then goes to Swann and rubs against her legs happily before making a tiny squawk of a noise to be lifted up into her lap. She obliges, then places one hand on Dave's shoulder.
"You aren't dead anymore." She says it gently, in a way she hopes is soothing. "This is Pascal! He's a mini-tiger, he was a gift for me."
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He spares her hand a glance when it's placed on his shoulder, then decides he probably shouldn't be an ass about this to her. "No, I'm not." There's a curt edge to his voice when he speaks, but he isn't hostile about it. "Huh." A mini-gift-tiger, even. That's impressive. "And here I was all giddy about scarves. Who'd you schmooze on to get a freaking tiger?" He reaches out a wary hand, hovering it toward the tiger without the follow-through it takes to actually pat it. "Normally when I like someone I don't give them anything, so they know they're beyond rudimentary value to me. Also because I'm inconsiderate. A tiger. Wow." He can't get over it.
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She rubs Dave's shoulder a bit, because he still seems upset about having died. She's vaguely surprised, given the length of his time in the Arenas, how many times it's happened already, but doesn't mention it.
"Oh! Um... a friend gave him to me," she says, less from an avoidance of mentioning Jason and more just simply not knowing what to call their relationship. "I think he was trying to be nice, not... not assign me a value."
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"I'm just saying, nobody ever gave me a tiger before. Even if they aren't assigning you a value, you can't exactly look at a tiger and equate it to socks or tiny soaps or antique..eggs. I don't know what Capitolites usually give each other." He stares ahead for a moment as if in deep consideration about that, but it turns out he's having a really hard time avoiding things he doesn't really want to talk about. He's curious, and while he doesn't imagine Swann knows a lot about the science behind bringing in offworlders, he does wonder what the average person knows.
That and she seems nice enough not to go blabbing if he opens up a little, what with her being so disarmingly nice and all. So, he changes the subject. "Did you know they can send people back home and just like. Bring them back a week later?" It isn't accusatory, just curious.
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She snorts a little at the idea of giving antique eggs to someone, and just watches him, smiling gently. He asks about being revived, and she sighs, rolling her shoulder a little. "I've heard of it, once or twice. I don't know how any of it works, I don't think anyone besides the Gamemakers and their team do. They don't tell us those kinds of things."
With a glance down at her tiger, she asks gently, "Did you... go home?"
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"Kind of figured they wouldn't go telling everyone about it." He says dryly, only faint disappointment in his voice. "They should probably have brochures about this sort of thing. I love impromptu trips back to space as much as the next person, but I also like to know what sort of shenanigans I'm getting strapped into. What's the greater purpose? Is it a tourism thing? A glitch? I'm starting to think what we really need here is some sort of massive f.a.q database."
He extends his hands in front of him to mime typing for god knows why before he drops them back down to appease the tiger. "Yeah." He can't help sounding a little dejected, and he knows she'll probably ask, so he decides to cut out the middle man and elaborate. "It didn't go so well." He shrugs, scritching behind the tiger's ear. "I died." He tries, and succeeds, to sound casual about it. Seeing as how it happens with more frequency lately, it isn't hard to sound detached, even if it's different. "So that was a thing. How've you been, anyway?"
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"Maybe they think you'll learn something important if you go back?" she suggests, although she doesn't understand the Gamemakers and their plans any better than anyone else does. Her face takes on heavy shadows of concern and sorrow, and she moves to wrap her arms around Dave, like she's acting instinctively, holding his head to her and stroking his hair.
"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm really sorry. I wish I could fix it for you." And she sounds truly sincere about it, like she'd save him in an instant from his own world, because even if he's a Tribute, he's alive, his deaths always temporary. "I'm all right. Maybe I'd be better with some ice cream. Do you want some ice cream?"
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A
She's come armed, in a sense, the child-sized guitar that she bought with Nick's help to learn to play in her hand. "I wanted to see if you're o... kay."
Clearly not, if that pose meant anything. "Um..." she slides into the room and shuts the door, almost tiptoeing over to the bed despite the fact she'd already announced herself. "Dave?"
Coming back the arena always sucks and some people show it in different ways than others. Clem's pretty sure she's never seen Dave like this before though, like someone just sucked all the energy and Dave-ness out of him. Those extra days he was fone, where was he? Did the Capitol do something to him? She sucks on her bottom lip as she waits for a response.
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He feels like he's acknowledged her entrance already, not realising he hasn't said anything until she pipes up again. She'll get a grunt in response at first, like she's waking up for school or something else he'd object to, but he doesn't move.
"We're experiencing technical difficulties at this point in time, please hold the line as we work to resolve this issue and return to our regularly scheduled youthful rompary." It's half murmured into his pillow and he reaches a skinny hand out, pressing a button on a remote nearby to turn on a speaker system. It, thankfully, begins to play mild rap music at a low volume and he can't help being annoyed at how easy it is to fall into swing with things here.
Eventually, he drags himself in a sitting position and turns in his bed so he can face her, leveling an unimpressed look on her. Even if, as usual, he's glad to see her face after an Arena.
"What?" He asks, like he didn't just disappear for a week.
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She sets down her guitar, leaning it against the edge of the bed for safe keeping as she holds herself back from just jumping onto the mattress with Dave. His unimpressed look gets a similar one in turn before she crumbles into asking the burning question on her mind, "What do you mean, what? You've been gone a whole week, Dave!"
It doesn't take much for Clementine to start spilling her guts at him once she starts, with equal parts worry and fear in her eyes. "I thought you weren't coming back. I thought..."
Except all his stuff had still been in his room, it hadn't been emptied out the way they did with Tributes who weren't coming back, which just made the possibility the Capitol was torturing him even more likely. Dave wasn't just anyone to Clem, he was her best friend, someone who'd been here just as long as she had and the thought of something happening to him was the worst. Especially when it was outside the arena's, where damage and death were permanent things. "I've been really worried about you!"
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Suddenly he feels a little bad for trying to brush her off, particularly since he can't imagine how he'd feel if she were missing for a week. Hell, he probably would have been flipping desks after a day. "Yeeaahhh, Karkat told me I took a little while to dry out. Turns out they re-routed me back home." He thins his lips, still keeping an aloof air despite making himself open up a little more. "But I guess they like me too much to send me on the extended cruise, so I'm back. Permanently, by the looks. No worry needed."
He reaches a hand out and clasps it over her head, moving his hand back and forth so as to make her nod for no particular reason. This is definitely how you do affection.
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Clementine gives in, clambering onto the bed with Dave, just in time for his hand to come down on her head and rock it back and forth. He's so dumb sometimes. "Your fans would riot if they sent you away." she says, still shaky and unhappy, he's not getting out of this with just an extended pat to her head.
"I'd riot." she mumbles more quietly, reaching out to snag her hand on his shirt. There's going to be a hug today, he better get ready for it.
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"I'm alright here. Back home? It's a mess." He slides his hands down to pick at some lint idly on his leg, glancing down at it as if it deserves more focus than the conversation. "Feels like they did it just to show me that I'm stuck here for fucking good."
He spits those words, anger making lines on his face before he eases up for her. The hands on his shirt soothe his temper a little, coupled with what she's saying.
"You're only saying that because you're my only fan." He murmurs, humor back in his tone. "Like the one person who legitimately enjoyed The Phantom Menace."
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Her eyes widen as Dave explains, "You mean..." Clementine swallows and shakes her head because what Dave could be implying is unthinkable to her. "I'm sorry."
What else can she say? So long as they're at the whim of the Capitol then being here is little consolation, except there was a chance to survive.
"Not your only one." Clem tries to assure him, shuffling over so she's pressed against his side. It's pretty soppy and Dave will probably tease her for it later, "But I'd be president of the club."
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If anything, it's him who has the trouble. It feels like she's protecting his feelings more than he protects hers, most of the time. Even if neither of them mean it.
"Dead. Done. Done like dinner. Impaled twice by some rabid furries." He puts a hand on his stomach and rubs, trying to sound as cold as possible about it. He won't mention that it happened because he was fighting tooth and nail to protect his friend, he's said enough. He lets her press closer, and while he might tease her later he just can't help embracing the vulnerability of the moment. He wraps his arm around her head so she's pressed more into his side and flops himself backward, bringing her down with him.
"Obama will be disappointed." He says curtly, keeping quiet for a moment before he takes himself back to what she admitted before. "Why didn't you tell me?" It doesn't sound accusatory, but he can't hide the fact that he feels a little indignant.
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A
And as each day passed, that worry has grown. Day one and he didn't come back, day two and he didn't come back... He's haunted district 9, sometimes visiting Nill, sometimes hovering around the common area, sometimes standing guard at the elevator. The week has passed with the excruciating slow drag brought by anticipation, heightened all the more by the worry that Dave might not come back. It happens; it happened to his past self. But he knows too that it took longer before he came back this last time, and that if anything keeps his hope alight.
He hasn't slept much. He doesn't much normally - too many daymares - but the added anxiety has mad the prospect impossible. By the time Dave strolls in, he's tired enough that it takes him a good five seconds before it clicks.
"Dave--Dave!" He bursts up from the couch he was sitting on, half-trips over his own foot, stumbles, regains balance, and jogs on over. "Fuck, man, where were you? It's been a week, you asshole!"
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The mere concept of it is exhausting, thinking about it is exhausting. It's frustrating that things he has no control over keep happening, he feels less in control of his life than he even did back home. Play the game, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Rose owes him thousands of regretful dollars for this bullshit, but that's beside the point.
Now that he's considered how long he's been gone, he should say where he's been. He definitely needs to say where- it's Karkat. If it matters to anyone, it'll matter to him. But he hesitates for a moment, mouth forming a thin line before he decides to just blurt it out. "Home. I went home." He cringes, immediately regretting the use of that word. "Well. Not home, home. Not Texas- I dunno where I was. First I was on my planet, then you called me and I was on Jade's planet? I think." He lets out a long sigh, just to bide time before he talks again. "Things aren't going so well."
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"You too," he says first softly, then, "You went too?" His hands come up unthinkingly to clutch his shoulders. "Dave, what happened? I was there, I went back--I saw you. You were chasing Jack and, and this other one and then you were just--"
He drops his hands way. "Let's talk in your room."
He wants to blurt out what happened to him, and he wants to ask if Dave fared any better than him, if he's still alive back there or knows anything more than he did, if he knows about Terezi and Gamzee or that he died. If he just starts here, though, they're never going to make it out of the common area. This isn't something that can be so easily interrupted once it starts.
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Whatever happened, he doesn't imagine it was good. Everything that could have gone wrong was very quickly going wrong and no amount of faith in his friends can fight those odds.
He opens his mouth to respond when Karkat starts to clutch his shoulders, but it dies in his throat as his hands drop away. Instead, he nods, sidling past Karkat to push open the door of his rooms. He can hardly stand to look at the relics of his time spent here, so his gaze is stooped toward the ground for the most part. Once Karkat is inside, he shuts the door and decides not to mince words.
"I'm tapped out of the game." He can't bring himself to say dead. "Jack and Jack two made a kebab out of me. Jade got totalled by a house, they were coming at her and I panicked- I dunno why. He tried to take her body someplace and I wanted to get her to Jane- since she has the life powers or whatever." He shrugs. "Guess they didn't appreciate it too much." He adds, giving pause for as long as he can before he hunches his shoulders, as if subconsciously trying to give himself less presence in the room. "Guess that's that." He says, like it was a bad soccer match or a failed math test.
"So, you said you went back too?"
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Tapped out. Alone it wouldn't have been clear enough, but the following clarifies what he feared, adding more still when he mentions what happened to Jade. Things click into place: why he saw Dave go by, what else happened with the remains of the hive scattered across the lava, why there was so much chaos. There's still elements he doesn't understand, but the details of those seem to matter less next to the sinking confirmation of what he already guessed. His own gaze has dipped by the time Dave asks his experience.
"I died." The contrast of Dave, he feels no reason to delay or mince words. "Meenah told me something was going down, which I why I called you, and then Kanaya and I ran off to figure out what was happening. There was that light in the sky and the forest caught on fire, then you went by..." He shakes his head. That's not the important part.
"Once we got past the trees, we saw Gamzee and Terezi standing on the remains of that hive. They were--they were covered in blood. Their own, each other's. Gamzee--it looked like he was trying to kill her, like--like maybe they had been trying to kill each other? Fuck, there was so much..." His lips press together, and he starts again. "I wasn't going to let him. I drew my sickle and I pushed up my sleeves, and I ran at him, and--he grabbed me. He took Terezi's sword cane and stabbed me with it twice before I could do anything, then dropped me in the lava."
He touches his hand to his chest and slides it from one side to the other, over the spots where the sword struck like bullseyes into the circles of his sign.
"We're doomed, Dave."
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He's not sure he even wants to hear how it happened, especially since the mere mention of Terezi and Gamzee makes him flinch. The fact that he stood back and let it happen disgusts him. If he could just slap a past self for every time he tried to take the easy way out his future face would be red and raw at this point. It's once Karkat rounds toward the end of the story that Dave feels a surge of feelings he doesn't often feel to this effect. Anger. White hot rage, even. He's good at suppressing frustration for the most part, but the fact that Gamzee of all people killed Karkat is enough to make Dave ball his hands into fists at his sides.
"I knew he was fucking trash." He spits, as vindicated as he is aggravated. "We fucked up." He agrees, moving a hand up to brush it over his face. "I gave up my last Get Out of Death Free card fighting fucking dogs. That dog killed my Bro- why the fuck did I think I was gonna just nip that in the bud? Yeah, sure. Easy. Let me just fight the blight of the universe and his super twin." He spreads his hands to accentuate his point before they drop to his side in defeat. "All that shit and it was still a goddamn doomed timeline."
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But Dave starts in on his self-directed negativity, and he snaps his gaze up.
"Hey, no." He's frowning, a stern focus to his look. "You wanted to help Jade, right? If you just let them take her, then what? Even if she was mind controlled by the Empress when we last saw her, that doesn't mean you couldn't have done something--"
Well, actually. His mouth twitches at the edge, chastened by the knowledge of the doomed timeline (and it has to be, like this), but he starts again. "What I mean is, it wasn't wrong to want to do something. Gamzee killed two of my friends and did crazy damage against the Black King when we fought him, but you're not telling me it was wrong to try to stop him, are you?"
Even if he wishes he had done more beforehand, even if he wishes he had spoken up when he first noticed them... It comes back to him, how even when he told the Signless he didn't comment on how he wanted to kill Gamzee for it. He'd said other things, about other stuff, and the bulk of it was that even the effort was worth something. It feels weird for him to find that sentiment now, but he means it just the same.
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"And.." He continues, drawing in a deep breath so he can force himself to admit what he can't help thinking. "We probably should have handled Gamzee a long, long time ago. I mean, I don't want to pin all of the blame on him? But it's maybe, definitely almost entirely his fault in every sense." He nods with conviction, moving around to flop backward onto his bed lethargically. There's an unspoken invitation for Karkat to join, but he's going to keep talking anyway.
"I guess I just thought that if we were gonna die, it'd be taking down Lord English. All of us, together. Not scrambled all over the place like a poorly rehearsed school play, you know?" He trails off, keeping his gaze on the ceiling when he does. "That probably came out a lot lamer than I meant it to. What I'm saying is, this blows."
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