Aang (
actually112) wrote in
thecapitol2014-10-03 12:00 am
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Entry tags:
I have regained my breath
Who| Aang and YOU
What| He's fresh out of the arena and he's a little ball of sad.
Where| Training Center; Roof, D4 suite, and everywhere else
When| Late 11th week of the mall arena.
Warnings/Notes| Sadness, references to child death, references to fictional genocide
D4 Suite
Aang woke up being able to hear again. There was no hole in his chest, and he could breathe.
He felt dead inside.
Dying was horrible. He could feel it--his soul, the Avatar spirit battering his chest, trying to escape, but trapped. He could feel himself dying in a way he wasn't meant to, without moving on to someone else. Would the Avatar cycle have been over had they let him stay dead, or would the Avatar spirit escape again once his body rotted and split open to allow it out?
Maybe it had moved on after the darkness overtook him. Maybe, for the briefest moment, he had been a waterbender baby. And then maybe he had died in his new mother's arms.
He staggers into the common area, blankly looking around, not looking all there. His legs feel wrong. His arms feel wrong. His lungs and ears feel wrong. Everything is wrong.
The Roof
It didn't take him long to realize that the autumnal equinox had come and gone. He was 113. It had been 101 years since the Air Nomads were wiped from the earth. Here, in this place of color and strange machines, after watching people die and suffer, without even the wind to whistle in his ears and guide him, he has never felt so alone.
He goes up. He finds stairs, and he goes up until he can't go up anymore. To the roof. The wind blows around him, but it doesn't speak to him like it should. He sits on the ground, overlooking all the towering buildings, buildings full of people who had laughed as they observed his suffering.
He sits down, hugs his knees, and lets tears flow silently down his face. Nothing. His struggles had been for nothing.
Aang takes a deep breath as the wind blows away his tears, and begins to sing. Those who observed him humming on Zuko's chest as he died would recognize the melody, but none of the lyrics are translated like everything else is. That is because there aren't lyrics--he lets out noises from deep in his chest, from high in his throat, making sounds that humans can't make without practice. He's imitating the wind, with its wails and puffs and whistles and moans. The lyrics are nonsense, and yet they mean everything to Aang.
It's the wind. It's all he has left of his people now.
Everywhere
After his grieving, it hits him that he's alive. And so will everyone else be.
His face is a little blotchy, but to hell with that. He's exploring, getting lost, getting found again, wandering into random districts and finding the common area and climbing onto dummies in the training area.
He is looking for friends, old and new and potential.
He doesn't have the Air Nomads, but he has them.
What| He's fresh out of the arena and he's a little ball of sad.
Where| Training Center; Roof, D4 suite, and everywhere else
When| Late 11th week of the mall arena.
Warnings/Notes| Sadness, references to child death, references to fictional genocide
D4 Suite
Aang woke up being able to hear again. There was no hole in his chest, and he could breathe.
He felt dead inside.
Dying was horrible. He could feel it--his soul, the Avatar spirit battering his chest, trying to escape, but trapped. He could feel himself dying in a way he wasn't meant to, without moving on to someone else. Would the Avatar cycle have been over had they let him stay dead, or would the Avatar spirit escape again once his body rotted and split open to allow it out?
Maybe it had moved on after the darkness overtook him. Maybe, for the briefest moment, he had been a waterbender baby. And then maybe he had died in his new mother's arms.
He staggers into the common area, blankly looking around, not looking all there. His legs feel wrong. His arms feel wrong. His lungs and ears feel wrong. Everything is wrong.
The Roof
It didn't take him long to realize that the autumnal equinox had come and gone. He was 113. It had been 101 years since the Air Nomads were wiped from the earth. Here, in this place of color and strange machines, after watching people die and suffer, without even the wind to whistle in his ears and guide him, he has never felt so alone.
He goes up. He finds stairs, and he goes up until he can't go up anymore. To the roof. The wind blows around him, but it doesn't speak to him like it should. He sits on the ground, overlooking all the towering buildings, buildings full of people who had laughed as they observed his suffering.
He sits down, hugs his knees, and lets tears flow silently down his face. Nothing. His struggles had been for nothing.
Aang takes a deep breath as the wind blows away his tears, and begins to sing. Those who observed him humming on Zuko's chest as he died would recognize the melody, but none of the lyrics are translated like everything else is. That is because there aren't lyrics--he lets out noises from deep in his chest, from high in his throat, making sounds that humans can't make without practice. He's imitating the wind, with its wails and puffs and whistles and moans. The lyrics are nonsense, and yet they mean everything to Aang.
It's the wind. It's all he has left of his people now.
Everywhere
After his grieving, it hits him that he's alive. And so will everyone else be.
His face is a little blotchy, but to hell with that. He's exploring, getting lost, getting found again, wandering into random districts and finding the common area and climbing onto dummies in the training area.
He is looking for friends, old and new and potential.
He doesn't have the Air Nomads, but he has them.
no subject
He couldn't say they were murdered. He couldn't say they burned. He couldn't say that they were swallowed by war or abandoned by their Avatar or erased--just attacked.
"And now they're all gone. Everyone except me."
He didn't talk about it a lot. He hadn't really spoken of it at all since correcting children of inaccuracies in their textbooks. Yet now, he felt that he had to speak, because the wind was talking and it needed him to make the man understand.
"They didn't ask for it. They didn't do anything wrong. They didn't have a military or war plans or anything like that. We just wanted to be left alone on our mountains. But they came anyway." It felt wrong to talk about it like that. To justify the Air Nomads, as if they needed justification. They didn't. But this man had no context. He didn't know their world. "But it was a long time ago now."
no subject
The fear of losing his tribe'd had him fighting a dragon the size of a mountain. It was why he was missing a leg. It had been a small price to pay to ensure his tribe returned home.
"I am not going to say I know what that feels like but I will say there's been a few times I almost had that happen to my tribe. I at least know what it means."
He understand the weight of it, the love someone could have for their people. His were not the best at personal hygiene, not always the brightest, and tended to try to headbutt everything into submission, but they were his.
If he ever lost them, especially now that they were his responsibility...
"I'm sorry. I don't even know your name yet but I do know I'm sorry."
no subject
But he didn't say that, because Aang took it in the sense it was intended--comfort, even if there was very little comfort to have.
He pulled his knees up under his chin, keeping his head against the man and grasping at his clothes with one hand, as if that would keep him there. He needed Katara or Gyatso or any of the monks who had raised and loved him--but he had a stranger who was ready to offer him warmth, and that would have to be enough.
"Aang. My name is Aang."
no subject
"It's nice to meet you, Aang. My name's Hiccup. You are, by the way, allowed to think it's a funny-sounding name because everyone here seems to. I'm guessing names based on bodily functions aren't exactly at the, uh, height of popularity everywhere else. For some reason."
The boy had, quite frankly, just about every reason to be sad in the world, but that didn't mean Hiccup had to reinforce that sadness.
Take it seriously, understand it had good reason (to go from that to this was just awful, and he didn't even know the half of it yet) to comfort him because of it.
But he just didn't have it in himself to watch someone stay stuck mired in sadness and misery without trying to jimmy them out again.
"I still haven't had a chance to ask my mom which one of my parents I should resent for that one."
Despite his words, his tone was light and fond - and tinged with a little wistfulness. The grief of his father's death still lingered, wrapped around his heart and it would be for some time, and to have found his mother after twenty years apart and been separated again...
"But anyway, you're safe, at least for right now, and hey, we're a name exchange and two big hugs into this thing - I think we can safely say that's a nice little start to a friendship, don't you?"
no subject
"Yeah. This seems like it'll be a good friendship." And now he had another friend. It wasn't what it was like back home, but he could live with it--the fractured, growing support network he could make.
"I should have probably asked your name before I hugged you, but that looked like the thing everyone was doing." He had been under the impression that was how he was supposed to say hi until multiple people gave him a gentle scolding for it.
no subject
And he went blank for a moment. Just completely blank, staring ahead, as if his brain had suddenly shut that thought down for his own good.
Blinking slightly and coming back to himself, as if he didn't even notice he'd blanked out, he went on, "For a lot of people, it was the first time they were seeing us alive again. I don't think that's going to happen next Cornucopia. Or if it does, they'll probably blow a few people up again because they're mad we're not fighting."
He blinked his eyes shut for a moment. "And wow, that's a depressing subject when you were up here being sad. Sorry. It's, ah, it's sometimes a little hard to avoid those when talking about anything here."
no subject
(Aang recalled the man crying in their embrace.)
"No, it's okay. Me being sad doesn't mean other people aren't sad too." He listens to the sound of Hiccup's heart, somewhat muffled by his clothes and the wind around them. "Even if other Cornucopias are violent, we can remember that this one wasn't, even if they wanted it to be. I think that's important."