Alain is silent for a long, pregnant moment, puffing away thoughtfully on his cigarette. At last, he says quietly, "I can't picture it. I've tried, truly I have, but... I'm not a leader, or a mentor. I'm a soldier. What's a soldier without a war, or a gunslinger without his d... d..." Something like pain crosses his expression, and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before enunciating clearly: "...his commander? I can teach, and I will, but I can't pretend that I'm aught but what I am. And I can't watch Roland die, time and again, and be unable even to close his eyes and... Even with that gulf of time between us, I owe him more than that."